stollen post

Okay, this is a post my cousin Paul's wife, Misty, wrote. I loved it and had to share it with all of you. I have to say that I am allergic too!

Allergies

My allergies are acting up again. I am allergic to three things. Antibiotics, shell fish, and sugar. That's right. Sugar. It makes me fat. Allergies are so not fair.

Can I just tell you how sick I am of wearing the same sweats? Or how about resorting to Paul's t-shirts because I can only take so much of that doughnut that keeps showing up under my really cute t-shirts. For crying out loud, why can't I stay away from the one thing that makes me the most miserable? Stupid cookies.

What if I convince myself that I really am allergic to junk food? When I am at a party and someone offers...no....shoves the plate of brownies in my face and I say, "Oh, no thanks, I am on a diet." and they laugh and shove harder, wouldn't it be great to say "Oh! My heck! Get those things away from me!! I am allergic!!!" I might get a different response. Something like an apology would be nice.

I mean really. What is worse? Hives or Fat? Fat of course. Every once in a while I just want someone to put me out of my misery. Just take me out to the back of the farm and pull the trigger. If I am going to kill myself, why not do it quick. Rip it off. Like a band aid. Instead, I choose to do it slowly. Bite by bite. Stupid flipping apple pie.

Discipline. Discipline is the thing. Or was it listening to my body and intuitive eating? Wait...I think I know...it was moderation...moderation in all things. No, wait, it is coming to me...abstinence. Yes, that is it. Abstinence. No, that isn't right. I think I was talking about allergies. I am allergic to that bucket of red vines! I am I tell you!Get that pie away from me before my butt swells up and explodes out of these sweat pants!


Perfect... although, I should probably add breads. I love you Misty.